Blu's Expedition
by AndrzejAndrex
Summary: Blu is in situation where he have to find new feathered friends.
1. New friends

**Chapter 1**

Jewel was making dinner for her and Blu. She had to do it personally because their owners and roomies – Linda and Tulio – left for an expedition. Meanwhile, Blu was sitting with his laptop and using it to talk with Linda. Suddenly, Jewel called her husband for dinner but he was passionately talking with his owner and didn't react. At this time Jewel decided to walk into the room and confront him.

- Blu, why don't you reply to my calling? – asked worried Jewel.

- Sorry, I'm busy! – replied Blu.

- Busy… With what?

- I'm talking with Linda

- How?

- By Twitter.

- Do you have an account on Twitter?

- Of course, look at this.

Jewel looked at Blu's account on Twitter and had a look at his dialogues with Linda as well. She became worried.

- You are talking to each other as if Linda is your lover, not just a friend… - stated his worried wife.

- Don't worry Jewel, it only looks like this!

- I don't believe you. What is this idea with tweeting on Twitter. Who are you? A sparrow?

- Jewel, don't be unfair. All of our friends have accounts on Twitter, even Rafael, who definitely isn't a sparrow.

- And who in this Twittertown has the greatest number of followers?

- Tininha…

- Tininha?! This is a sparrow!

- Actually, it's a finch.

- Don't go over the top or you'll be whimpering like this finch! And come to dinner already!

- Ok, Jewel. – replied submissive Blu.

Blu ate dinner with Jewel. At this time Jewel noticed that she had left the dish on the cooker and burnt it.

- Thanks Blu, it's your fault I seared the dinner! – Jewel shouted in a fury.

- It's not my fault! – Blu defended himself

- Don't have to admit it, you just have to eat that burnt meal!

And parrots sat down to consume dinner which passed under the sign of Jewel's anger and Blu's nervousness.

- Good? – asked sarcastically Jewel.

- What do you think? This is burnt! – replied Blu.

- It would have been better if you had thought and came to me when I wanted you to.

- I feel that I have to find new friends… - whispered Blu.

- WHAT DID YOU SAY?!

- Nothing, sweety!

Sad Blu ended his burnt pancakes. Next thing he did was leaving the room to chat with Linda again. But when he sat in front of the computer, Linda had no longer been available.

- Beautiful, Linda left. I would rather be with her than with Jewel all the time. – said Blue to himself.

Meanwhile, he saw a tweet, which made him interested. Blu made a contact with the female parrot, who tweeted and after a short talk he invited her to Rio. That girl invited other parrots and they were going to visit Blu. All of them were living on different continents so they had to wait a few days for their coming to Rio. On the day of the visit, Jewel nabbed Blu at the next talk with Linda.

- Blu, why are you talking with Linda?! – screamed annoyed Jewel.

- Calm down Jewel, we are only talking!

- Of course, now talking, tomorrow you will jump into bed to do ..everyone knows what!

- Jewel, start thinking logically! How will we be able to do it?

- You would stand on her crotch, she would be naked, you would embrace your cloacal with her vagina and excrete sperm… But why am I saying that, now you know how you may have sex with her!

- Jewel, you're my one and only!

- You are lying!

Suddenly, they heard a knock to the door.

- Great, Linda is here! I'll open! – screamed Jewel and flied her way to the door. She opened that and saw Maya who is a female blue fronted amazon. With her there were Gia – a female african grey parrot, Cag – her listless husband and Sweetheart – a cute blue male indian ringneck.

- Who is that beach?! – asked annoyed Jewel.

- Hello, I'm Maya. Is Blu here? – asked Maya.

- Not for you!

- Girl, please, everyone is waiting for Blu.

- And you will be still waiting, he won't go anywhere.

- Jewel, calm down! – said Blu, who approached Jewel.

- Blu, get to your room! – screamed Jewel.

- Sorry Jewel, but no. I have to go with them. – said Blu and approached his visitors.

- Hey Blu. Ready for the expedition? – asked Maya.

- Hey Maya. When will we begin?

- When you'll be ready. Take all the things you need and we are leaving.

- No, Blu don't go anywhere. Blu has banned going anywhere until he stops cheating me with his owner. – stated Jewel.

- Blu, what is she talking about? – asked Maya.

- She's jealous of me keeping chatting with my owner. – replied Blu.

- Why are you saying this to her, this is our private case! – screamed Jewel.

- No, it's our case, Blu made an appointment with us, and he will be with us whether you want it or not. – Maya reacted to the situation.

- Just try! – screamed Jewel and then two females were going to fight. Meanwhile, Blu took the opportunity of this situation and came back home to take all the things he needed and when he came back, he saw Maya on the ground with Jewel's claws on her neck. Blu helped his new friend and pushed away his weakened by the struggle wife to home and closed the door. The group felt relieved.

- Weeee! – screamed Sweetheart.


	2. Flirting Blu

**Chapter 2**

- Your wife, ehh… almost, ehh… killed me, ehh… - said breathless Maya, still in shock after Julia's attack. Slowly, she stood on her own legs and the group started planning the expedition.

- Ok, so according to what we wrote, we're going to find the nest of a tiny hawk and count local population in this reservation. Our specialist on predator birds, Sweetheart, will take care of finding nests.

- You're right, I did a proper research, and I know where we may find our birdies! – added Sweetheart.

- Auch! My ears are bleeding! Let's rather go without further talk? – Maya complained about the high pitch voice of Sweetheart, and the group set off towards the nests. During walking, Sweetheart saw that Maya was worried and decided to talk with her.

- Maya, why are you so worried? – asked Sweetheart.

- Oh… It's not worth talking about, but we may. I like Blu, he's very handsome! – stated Maya.

- It's hard to notice it, because I'm a boy – stated Sweetheart.

- But you have to know that he's supernal. Yet, I'm very worried about his wife. A female like her doesn't deserve to be with Blu. She treats him like nothing. I'll be good to him and will respect him.

- All in all, you're right, but I think that they are still a lovely couple. Gia and Cag also don't look ideal, but are happy together.

- You're right too, but Blu deserves to have someone better than her. It could be me.

- Go and talk with him. Maybe Blu will understand that you're the one and only?

- Good idea Sweety, but I don't know if I manage to do it.

- Don't worry, you're a big girl and you'll definitely manage to do it. – stated Sweetheart looking up at his 10cm higher friend. Maya listened to his suggestion and went to Blu. Meanwhile, Blu was talking with Cag.

- Why are you so sad all the time? – asked Blu.

- Why do you think I am? – returned the question to Blu.

- You're deliberating about yourself all the time and you don't care for anything. This is weird.

- Not weird. Weird is the dominance of aspirations. All those gender fights make me sick. Men want to dominate women, women want to dominate men. I don't want to. I want only equality of all. Gia tolerates my thinking, I tolerate her thinking.

- Nice, maybe… - stated Blu, who didn't know what to think about Cag's philosophy. Meanwhile, Maya approached him and began talking.

- Hello Blu. – greeted Maya.

- Hey Maya. – replied Blu.

- What are you doing?

- Right now? Nothing. Just walking to count hawks and their population.

- Leave these hawks. Think about us.

- Why about us?

- Do you want us to be together?

- How together?

- Blu, I love you and I know that you love me too.

- What's happened? – asked Gia.

- Nothing, but may we stop this trip? – stated and asked Blu.

- Ok, everybody, stop! Blu and Maya have to talk with each other! – screamed Gia. Blu and Maya left aside and continued talking.

- Ok. Maya, what do you mean? – asked Blu.

- What? I mean that we must be together! – replied Maya.

- I have a girlfriend!

- But she isn't good for you!

- How can you know it?

- I saw what she was doing to you. This is humiliation. I'm never gonna do this to you.

- But I'm happy with Jewel, it was only a small quarrel.

- So small that out of jealousy she tried to kill me thinking that I'm your bitch?

- It isn't your business. I have a girlfriend and I'm not looking for another one.

- Blu, we may be happy together!

- But I'm happy right now!

- It must be some chance to show you that I'm better that your Jewel!

- Yes, we will be together when you have tits!

- Blu, I'm Amazon, I don't have tits!

- Yes, this is what I'm talking about!

- Blu, why are you ignoring me?

- BECAUSE I HAVE A GIRLFRIEND! She thinks that I'm cheating her and I don't want to cheat her because she'll be thinking that I cheated her earlier as well!

- Ok Blu, I understand. – stated Maya and went away, sad.

- At last! – puented Blu.


	3. Furious wife and hawks in the sky

**Chapter 3**

At the same time, Gia was arguing with Sweetheart.

- Why don't you like me? – asked Sweetheart.

- I'm not used to men, who have much higher voice than me. – replied Gia.

- This is why you don't like me?

- You are annoying me, kid! – said Gia and left. Meanwhile, Cag approached Sweetheart and told him.

- Don't worry. Gia gains point after closer acquaintance. If you bring together with her, she could take your request shaking her big red booty! – said Cag, who remembered an event when Gia, like a striptizer, was dancing on him sitting on the chair.

- I hope you're right.

- I'm always right.

After some moment, sad Maya approached them.

- How is flirting Maya? – asked Cag.

- Shup up! – replied Maya.

- So... not good. – stated Sweetheart.

- So Blu doesn't understand that it's over between him and Jewel, and he could be with me. – said Maya.

- It could be "mee". – improvised Cag.

- Oh men. This could have stayed in your big red butt! – said Maya.

Meanwhile, Blu called Jewel.

- Hey Jewel. – said Blu after she answered the Jewel's call .

- Hey Blu. – said Jewel.

- So… you aren't angry at me anymore?

- No, why could I be angry. You're ignoring my words, hitting me and cheating with the whore from the internet! Why should I be angry?

- Jewel, I love you!

- You're a liar! You love only yourself, you egoist! Ah!

- You're wrong, I really love you!

- You're a liar, ah! I have to… Ah!

- Why are you doing „ah"?

- Sorry Blu, but Nico is looking for my G-point with his body and he found it, if you know what I mean.

Jewel ended the call. Devastated Blu decided to leave the expedition.

- Ok, everybody, listen to me! Gia, Cag, Sweetheart and Maya (Maya sighs when Blu calls her name) I made a hard decision. I decided to leave you and come back home to beg Jewel for forgiveness.

- Are you crazy? – screamed Gia.

- You should just kick her ass out of there. – stated Cag.

- Nevertheless, she should be the one begging on her knees, and you could hit her in her crooked beak! – screamed Sweetheart.

- What an annoying voice you have! – screamed Maya to Sweetheart.

- Maya, but we are friends! – squealed Sweetheart to Maya.

- But from the Internet. I didn't have to hear you live!

- Why are you so unfair, BUUUUUU! – screamed sad Sweetheart and kept crying. Meanwhile ,Cag saw a strange object in the sky.

- Just look. What is this? – asked Cag.

- 4 dark, wide stripes. Oh my God, this is a common hawk. But they don't live in this area! – said Sweetheart.

- In theory we don't as well. – stated Gia.

- Beautiful. Because of Sweetheart's mooing we are being tracked down by hawks. – said worried Maya.

- How do you know they are tracking us down? – asked Blu.

- Because they are diving! – said Sweetheart and caused a panic in the parrots' group.

- I don't want to be hawks' dinner! – screamed Gia.

- Calm down, we just have to fly over and maybe we can rescue ourselves! – said Sweetheart.

Parrots listened to him and flew over together. But the idea failed because the hawk fast caught them all. Hawks are big birds and Blu with others didn't have absolutely anything to say in the fight with them. Meanwhile, Blu's phone fell to the ground.

- My phone! Please let me take it! – screamed Blu.

At the same time, the second hawk flew and took the phone in its claws. Next, both hawks flied together with the parrots towards their nest.


	4. Hawk talking

**Chapter 4**

Both hawks are females and strong friends. They both terrorize local habitat hunting the local birds.

- What beautiful gains we have. – said the hawk.

- You're right, we have never had so much luck. – replied the second hawk. Then, to assure the prey, one hawk takes the victim, and the second ties them using a liana made from leaves and woods – strong enough, so that none of the parrots could break it.

- Ok, who's your boss? – ask one of the hawks.

- I think that's him, I heard what he said about us – it's such an expert. – replied the second hawk talking about Sweetheart.

- You're right. Hi sweety. Who are you?

- Yyy… A little polish!

- Yyy… What is your sign?

- White Eagle!

- Eagle?! You don't scare us your friends! If you're smart as you think, what you can say about us?

- You're loners, you're quiet, you're like eating pigeons, you hunt only using claws and you're demonized in mass culture! – said Sweetheart.

- It's just as if he is me… I feel so stupid! – said hawk.

- You're smart so you should know what we are gonna do with you? – asked the second hawk.

- Yes, but you had better leave us alone! – replied Sweetheart.

- In any case. I feel so stupid, but if I eat you , I will be smartest again! – stated the hawk.

- HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! (eagle laugh) – laughed the second hawk.

- This laughter made me scared!

- Blu, do something! – screamed Maya.

- What can I do? I'm bonded! – screamed Blu.

- Surely something can be done so that they leave us alone.

- But why me?

- Because you're our boss! – said Maya and two females heard it, felt confused and approached Blu.

- Are you the boss? – asked hawk.

- That's just a loser, not the boss! – stated the second hawk.

- Like my former boyfriend!

- So maybe you would date me too? – asked Blu.

- A very funny joke. – stated the hawk.

- Come on, untie me, and I'm gonna date with you. You're very beautiful!

- Sorry, you're not my type.

- Come on Blu, you won't release us with these flirting texts! – stated Cag.

- Yes, so you had better ask for the last chance. – said the hawk.

- So I want Gia to energetically shake her buttocks! – said Sweetheart. Next, he was hit by Gia, who strongly stabs him using her claws in his crotch. A second later, one of the hawks hit him strongly using her wing. So strong that he fell down.

- Auch! What have I done? – asked Sweetheart.

- If they 're males, they would approve it. – stated Cag.

- Ok, any other wishes? – asked the hawk.

- I have one! – said Sweetheart standing up.

- What? – asked hawk approaching just before him.

- Hug me! – screamed Sweetheart and strongly hugged in hawk's womb.

- O... K! – stated hawk and strongly hugged Sweetheart. They both felt the warm and stayed embraced for some seconds. In the end, when they let it go, the lady hawk continued. – OMG he's very cute.

- Tiny, cute, smart, so perfect! – stated the second.

- Ok, we have a proposition sweety. You're so cute…

- Thanks! – interrupts Sweetheart.

- Don't interrup me! You're so cute, so I decided that I can save you're life provided that you do me a favor. Never ever have I had any offspring despite trying, so I 'm asking you to try to change it together.

- Ok. I can do it! – stated Sweetheart.

- Great. Untie him! We are gonna have fun. – said one hawk to the second.

- Blu, do something! – screamed Maya.

- But what? – asked Blu.

- Talk with them!

- Maya, these are hawks. What can I talk about with them? About Ellie Goulding's album?

- Of course! About Ellie Goulding, Guding, Puding! Go and talk with them!

- Ok, now I feel that I can change the situation! – said Blu to himself. – Hey girls!

- What? – asked hawk. At the same time Blu's phone is ringing.

- Can you answer the call, it's probably Jewel. I have to talk with her!

- Ok, I'll switch on the speakerphone.

- Halo! – Jewel spoke on the phone.

- Hey Jewel. – greeted Blu.

- How's the trip?

- Not good. We have been kidnapped by two female hawks.

- Aha, are they pretty at least?

- If I told no, this call would be brutally broken.

- Aha.

- Will you come here to rescue us?

- Yes, of course. What do you imagine?! You have two beautiful female hawks so why should I disturb you?! Bye!

- But Jewel!

Jewel hung up.

- She's like me when my period is late! – stated the hawk.

- But birds don't have the periods! – stated Blu.

- I have. But It has been late!

- It's a pity.

- I'm getting by somehow. You rather not.

- Yes. We have had such problems for a few days.

- You should bit the hell out of her like I do with my boyfriend!

- Thanks for a suggestion, but Jewel is such an angel!

- My boyfriend was sheer Adonis but he started to cheek me so I hit him some punches and showed him where is his place. And you should do the same.

- Don't know if I would manage.

- Ok, we had better take this tiny one. Maybe I will be the second in line to have sex with him and he will fertilize me too? – stated the second hawk.

- Blu, rescue Sweetheart! – screamed Maya.

- Don't worry about me. I'll sacrifice myself for you! – stated Sweetheart.

- Nobody asks what you want! Blu, rescue him! – screamed Maya.

- But what can I do? These are hawks! There is no point in telling them that Ellie Goulding has released her album which is called Halcyon. – stated Blu and made hawks interested.

- What? Halcyon? – asked hawk.

- It's a Kingfisher! – replied the second hawk.

- I love halcyons! Blue parrot, where can we find these halcyons?

- Generally, in all good music shops! – replied Blu.

- Super, listen to me, we are flying to the closest music shop and asking for halcyons! – screamed the hawk and both females flied over.


	5. Blu's happy ending?

**Chapter 5**

- A beautiful plan. – Maya praised Blu.

- Very good. But what can we do with these ties? – asked Blu.

- Don't worry, I may just bite these ties. This isn't difficult! – said Sweetheart, who had been previously released by hawks. Parrots were in shock because they didn't get this idea. Sweetheart bit the ties and Cag heard some strange voices around. Blu decided that they all had to fly in the same direction and flied to some hollow, where they saw a cockatiel trapped in the bark.

- This is Nimfel! I wondered where he had been all the time ! – stated Maya.

- It's real. We have to help him! – stated Blu. After this Maya flied towards Nimfek's and released him from the bark. Nimfek was shocked looking at the size of Maya who was much bigger than him and he flied towards Blu in panic.

- Hey tiny! Are you also trapped by hawks? – asked Blu.

- No, worse… By budgerigars! – replied Nimfek.

- But budgerigars aren't from here!

- Nor are the hawks. – stated Cag.

- Shut up! Nimfek, please reply – said Blu.

- They flied with me from Australia. All the way long they bullied me and, in the end, they trapped me in some bark!

- What a loser! – screamed surprised Maya.

- Shut up Maya, he's suffering, in fact! – Blu refrained Maya.

- Ok., maybe we will come back to our expedition? – asked Sweetheart.

- But what was the purpose of that? – asked Blu.

- Don't know… - stated Gia. Parrots are depressed because they have forgotten what it was about.

- Ok, so I'm going back home! – said Blu.

- We are going with you! – said Maya.

- Why?

- So…

- We don't have the possibility to come back… - replied Gia.

- Aha, ok, we all may go together! – replied Blu and parrots flied home. While being on the spot, Blu knocked to the closed door. Jewel opened.

- Hello Jewel. – greeted Blu.

- So you are not ashamed? – said surprised Jewel.

- Why shouldn't I? This is my home!

- Oh no Blu, this is my home. And not yours any longer.

- But Jewel…

- GET OUT! – Jewel ended the discussion and closed the door.

- So we have a problem! – stated depressed Blu.

- Can you hug me? – asked Maya.

- Ok Maya, we can be together. But until Jewel forgives me.

- Do you wanna come back to her after this all?

- When Linda come home, she will talk to her for sure, but now we don't have any home.

- I have an idea! – said Sweetheart.

- I'm scared. – said Gia. Meanwhile, in the other side of the town two female hawks unsuccessfully tried to find halcyons. Suddenly, one of them felt a strange tickle

- I feel a weird tickle in my left buttock. – stated the hawk. Suddenly, she looked and saw like Sweetheart scratched her her buttock using his beak.

- Hello, dear girls. We have a problem. We don't have any home and I decided to ask you to take us under protection to your nest for some time . In return,we can look for some food for you and I will do you a chick! – said Sweetheart and hug hawk's womb. – So, do you agree? – Hawk strongly hugs Sweetheart suggesting him that she agrees.

**The end.**


End file.
